The late Gregory Peck is regarded as one of the great movie actors. Peck's performances usually conveyed great depth and he often played characters of strength, resilience, honesty, integrity, generosity and warmth. Peck often came across in his acting as a gentleman, in the true sense of the word. That is, a character born of wisdom and the pain of life. Toward the end of his life, someone asked Peck in an interview, how would he like to be remembered? He gave an interesting answer. He said most of all that he wanted to be remembered as a good husband and father. He wanted his children and grandchildren to remember him as a good father and grandfather. He wanted his wife to remember him as someone who made her life as happy as she had made his. For him, it was more important to make a lasting mark on his family than it was to make a permanent mark on the rest of the world.

In a few hours as we participate in the Yizkor service, we will all get the chance to remember those loved ones who are no longer with us. What will we remember about them? And will we think of them the way they would have wanted to be remembered? These questions should lead us to focus on our own mortality. Would the world be a better place without our presence or would our presence make the world a better place? We all want our lives to have counted for something. Fortunately, what kind of mark we make on the world is up to us.

Yom Kippur is the day when we evaluate who we have been and who we want to become, not only in the eyes of God but in the eyes of those surrounding us. There are questions that each of us needs to ask of ourselves today: What have I accomplished over the past year? How have I helped other people? What word best describes who I have been? Have I been a good parent? Have I been a good grandparent? What have I contributed to the world? What have I done to make Israel and America better places? If we are not satisfied with the answers, we have the ability to change.

Many of us may think about how our parents or children would remember us if we passed away tomorrow. Which of us truly wants to be remembered as a child or parent who has little patience or not enough attention to give? In reality, these traits may be more present in our everyday lives than we would want to admit. But Yom Kippur is the time when we can begin to change our bad habits by reminding ourselves that how we act now is how we will be remembered later. We need to live our lives so the rabbi doesn't have to lie at our funerals. While the Torah certainly provides a guide for how to live our lives, God ultimately leaves it in our hands. Even the smallest acts of kindness may prove to be great indicators of how we will be remembered. This brings me to the following story entitled "Red Marbles."

Years ago a man was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. He noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas. The man paid for his potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. Pondering the peas, he couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to him.
"Hello Barry, how are you today?"
"Hello, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank you. Just admiring them peas. They sure look good."
"They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?"
"Fine. Getting stronger all the time."
"Good. Anything I can help you with?"
"No, Sir. Just admiring them peas."
"Would you like to take some home?" asked Mr. Miller.
"No, Sir. Got nothing to pay for them with."
"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"
"All I have is my prize marble here."
"Is that right? Let me see it" said Miller.
"Here it is. She's a dandy."
"I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?" the store owner asked.
"Not exactly but almost."
"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble", Mr. Miller told the boy.
"Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller."

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help the man. With a smile she said, "There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store." The man left the store smiling to himself, impressed with Mr. Miller.
A short time later the man moved to Colorado , but he never forgot the story of Mr. Miller, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently the man had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while he was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.
They were having his funeral that day and knowing his friends wanted to go, the man agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary they fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort they could. Ahead of them in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts... all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and placed something in her hand. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes. The man's turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. He told her who he was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told him about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took his hand.

"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim "traded" them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size, they came to pay their debt."
"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho."
With loving gentleness she opened her hand, and in it were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds.

Today on Yom Kippur, I challenge each one of us to decide how we want to be remembered and then choose to live our lives in that manner. Gamar Chatimah Tovah - May each of us be sealed and remembered by God for a year of growth and blessing.