We live at a time in which individual freedom and individual choice have come to be considered as supreme values. We take literally and seriously the words of the Declaration of Independ¬ence that God have endowed us “with certain unalienable rights” among which are “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

But I am not sure that these words are as true as we might think them to be. Perhaps more accurate are Moses’ words to the Israelites: “I set before you this day life and prosperity; death and adversity.” If you chose to obey God’s commandments, you will thrive; if not, you will perish. “Choose life ... by loving the Lord your God and obeying his commandments (Deuteronomy 30: 15-20).

Yes, we are given the freedom to choose. But the freedom to choose is not free; it carries with it consequences. There is a price to pay for our choices. We have an inalienable right to choose, but not an inalienable right, or any right, not to accept the conse¬quences of our choices.

This is precisely where we get into difficulty. We want what we want. And if there is some rule or some reason that we cannot get what we want, we blame everyone but ourselves.

Take the following hypothetical case:

A family affiliates with a Conservative Synagogue because it is their feeling that Conservative Judaism most closely approximates their own religious convictions. They have made their free choice. Everything is fine until they come to arrange the reception for their son’s Bar Mitzvah scheduled for a Saturday night in June. They want the party to begin at 7:30. Since sunset is not until 8:15 or so, no party can begin before 8:45. Now the Synagogue is to blame; the Rabbi is called all sorts of names and is accused of driving the family away from the Syn¬agogue and Judaism. Any suggestion that they are being unrea¬sonable, that they do not have the right to determine when Shab¬bat ends, only exacerbates the situation. They want what they want. And, if they don’t get their way, they will pick up their marbles and go home.

Recently I read of the new pastor of a church who had greatly upset his parishioners because he started to strictly enforce church policy. Somehow, when it comes to religion, we expect that it will conform to our notions and our definitions. We want it our way. Said one parishioner, “Many of us feel that we have lost our church.” Perhaps the truth is that those who feel that way have abandoned their church because they couldn’t get their way.

Life is not always the way we want it to be. There are rules and regulations — whether set by religious authorities or civil authori¬ties — that all of us must follow. Yes, we can sometimes opt out. That is our right and our choice. But it is not our right or our option to blame others or institutions when we don’t like their standards and policies. The fault may be our own. How difficult it is for some of us to admit that perhaps our expectations and desires are unreasonable.

By all means exercise your inalienable right to choose. But don’t blame others for the choices you make. Be prepared to accept the consequences of your options. You may not get what you want. But at least you will be able to face the world and yourself honestly.